22 posts tagged “pike”

My one year Voxiversary was on August 31. I'd even put a note on my calendar so I didn't forget about it. And then I forgot to check my calendar.

Happy Voxiversary to me! This year has been really crazy and I can't imagine what it would have been like without all of you there to support me. Here's a little rundown of what went down:

-I went from living in apartment with my fiance, to living in my own apartment, to living with roommates. What's next? The plan is to move back in my parents and make my regression complete.

-I broke up with my fiance for being emotionally abusive and having unrealistic expectations of me. We've remained friends, despite his rebound. I still miss the good times fairly often, but I have to keep reminding myself of why it didn't work out because it's one of those things I'm not sure could change.

-I met some really awesome people, including Molly, Travis (even though he moved halfway around the world) and of course Christina.

-I gradually grew to love my job less and less, until the love turned to like, and the like turned into tolerate, and the tolerate turned into a general dislike with moments of hatred.

-I went on a lot of dates. Most of them sucked, but a couple were pretty good. When I finally met someone I did like, I turned into a drunken idiot and ended up without a favorite pair of earrings. I am still in my earring-less state.

-I quit playing World of Warcraft and started up again several times.

-I realized I didn't know what direction I wanted my life to go in, except that more than anything I want to go home.

Sweet:

-My credit union canceled almost all of my overdraft fees.
-Pike is paying me to work on a web project, and Corey is okay with it.
-I’m working on a blog post for my company. Blogging for work is fun!
-My dad is coming to visit me this weekend! I’m not sure how much I’ve blogged about this, but family is extremely important to me. My dad and I are exceptionally close. I really wish my brother could come, too, but I am really looking forward to spending the weekend with my dad.

Sour:

-Anna is being particularly cranky. She is annoyed because her underlings ask Corey questions and not her. We do this because Corey doesn’t bite heads off.
-She is also going to be here in my office basically all day because Molly is out sick. I could really use someone to talk to who is on my side. I miss Keith. He emailed me today.

Salty:

-Every time I see Lacey’s friend Meghan (twice this weekend, I guess Meghan is becoming my friend, too) I get interested in law school again, because she’s a law student. She’s in law school right now.
-It really depends on if I can get a high enough LSAT score to make it into the top law schools. One school (third tier) is having an online LSAT 101 course next week in the evening and I’ve signed up for it.

I was thinking today about what features determine if I find a man attractive, and because I'm bored I made up this guide. It's intended for amusement only and does not include other factors that make up attractiveness. For instance, I didn't give points for sarcasm, wit, flirtability, or sweetness. Nor take any away for stupidity, rudeness, or acting like a pushover.

Plus

Blue eyes +25

Green eyes +15

Gray eyes +5

Dark hair +20

Red hair +15

Longish hair +15

Wavy hair +10

Sideburns +10

Mutton Chops +5

Dimples +20

David Anders-style lips +20

Full lips +10

European, Australian, or Canadian Accent +20

Distinct facial features (such as a slightly larger nose) +10

Soft around the edges +5

Clean shaven +10

Taller than 5ft8 +5

Hairy (but not too hairy) chest +5

Minus

Baldness (or a shaved head) -10

Obese -20

Too skinny -10

Shorter than 5ft6 -15

Obnoxious voice -20

Breathes too loudly -5

Looks like a professional football player -10

Facial hair (aside from sideburns or mutton chops) -10

Full beard -10 (additional to the -10 for facial hair)

For more shits and giggles, here are the scores of some men I write or have written about:

Pike: 20 + 10 + 10 + 5 + 5 + 10 – 10 – 15 = 35
Dan from SA: 25 + 20 + 10 + 10 + 5 + 5 = 75
The SR: 25 + 10 + 10 + 5 = 50
Oscar the Loud Breather: 25 + 10 + 10 + 20 – 10 – 15 – 5 = 35
Front Desk Guy: 20 + 10 + 5 – 10 = 25
Hot Intern: 25 + 20 + 10 + 10 + 10 + 5 = 80

My 2009 To-Do List
When I was in grad school for speech pathology, we had to create goals for our clients and one of the major issues was that they be measurable.  So instead of doing vague things like "get fit" I've tried to make my goals more specific.
1. Start crafting again.
2. Create a binder for recipes.
3. Get a raise, higher paying job, or a job in Hometown.
4. Create a chore schedule.
5. Read 5 books owned but haven't read yet.
6. Learn to create Wordpress themes.
7. Start blogging again.*
8. Write 3 short stories.
9. Create an exercise schedule.
10. Get my World of Warcraft character to level 80.
(optional) Find the love of my life.

Things I Need from Target
1. Another hanging file folder box.
2. Activia yogurt.
3. A small notebook that wont get beat up in my purse.
4, A new purse.
5. Snack mix for work.
6. Calcium supplements.
7. 2 bulletin boards.
8. New Underwear.
9. Screws.

Qualities That My Next Boyfriend Must Have
1. Intelligence.
2. Silliness.
3. Doesn't make mountains out of molehills.
4. Willing to try and get along with my family--no prejudices.
5. Enjoys cuddling, and has a body that can be cuddlied with (ie, isn't malnourished).
6. Taste in things that doesn't clash.  (We don't have to like all the same things, but he can't only like rap music, reality television, and horror films.)
7. Likes staying in sometimes.

What I'm going to do This Weekend
1. Do dishes.
2. Do laundry.
3. Unpack.
4. Finish Breaking Dawn.
5. Continue reading Gravity's Rainbow which I found at my parents' house.
6. Get started on 2009 list.
7. Prepare for next week.
8. Figure out what I'm going to do for my birthday at the end of the week.
9. Maybe see Pike if he's back. Convince him to take me to the Andrew Bird show for my birthday.

Rants
1. I don't want to go back to work tomorrow. 
2. It's so stupid! 
3. Everyone is working on stuff that I'm not responsible for. 
4. I shouldn't have to be there and I hate that I do.

*Not this one.  I'm referring to a blog written under my real name instead of this pseudonym and more about stuff than my personal...issues.

Christmas at my grandparents’ house consists of the adult sitting in the living room staring at each other and making small talk.  At least this year no one will ask “how’s school?”  No, wait, they probably will.  And I’ll say, “I dropped out of grad school, but now I’m working in tech support for The Company.”  And they will be impressed, because The Company is very impressive.  I can see their eyes widening now.

Even though my parents were thoughtful enough to inform everyone that Pike and I broke up, I’m sure some people will ask about him.  I’ll say, “We’re not together anymore.”  Or if I’m feeling extra punchy, “We’re not together anymore.  Did anyone bring wine?”

Perhaps some will be ballsy enough to ask if I’m seeing someone new, in which case I have my choice of responses, which an increasing degree of shock value:
1.    Pike and I broke up a few months ago and that’s not long enough to build a relationship worth mentioning.
2.    I have several prospects, actually.
3.    I’m seeing several people, if you know what I mean.
4.    I have a friend with benefits.  Oh, you don’t know what that is?  Allow me to explain…
5.    Didn’t my mom tell you?  I realized that I’m a lesbian.  I’ll be sure to bring my girlfriend next year!

My mother’s side always has a more enjoyable party.  This must be because I am facebook friends with some of my cousins.  Last year they had the party much earlier in December than I could get away from grad school.  This year they are happily having it while I’m in town, and for once I’ll be able to stay for the entire thing.  Getting Pike to go was almost impossible.  I had to beg, bribe, plead and promise to leave early.

This year, I’m not going to have to drag someone into a holiday party they don’t want to attend.  I’ll deal with the relational small talk on my own, and that’s just fine with me.

[Note: I will be in Hometown for the holidays next Wednesday through Sunday.  Way too short for me, but I highly doubt I'll get to post during that time since my parents still only have dial-up.  Oh, and I will post tomorrow about how tonight goes.]

List the three best times/things of the year
1. Quitting grad school and starting my job.  It’s not perfect, but it suits me and I earn money.
2. Finally getting laid again!
3. Starting this blog.  Being able to write openly like this has really helped me out.

List the three worst times/struggles of the year
1. Breaking up with Pike.
2. Deciding to quit graduate school.
3. Figuring out how to deal with Anna.

List three personal traits you've changed throughout the year
1. Becoming in control of my own life.
2. Even though I’ve always been positive, I think I have become even more optimistic.
3. A slight increase of motivation.

List three personal traits you haven't changed throughout the year
1. I’m still self-obsessed.
2. I’m still messy.
3. I’m still rational.

List three people you've met this year
1. Anna
2. Keith
3. Redhead boy

List three people who have made a major impact on your life this year
1. Anna
2. Pike (even ending the relationship made an impact)
3. Travis (the catalyst)

List three people that you had to say goodbye to (even if you didn't know them) this year
1. Everyone from graduate school
2. Travis
3. My family, every time I see them I have to say goodbye again.

List your three greatest accomplishments of the year
1. Getting my job and keeping it for as long as I have.
2. Having the guts to end things when Pike even when I didn’t really want to, because it was the right thing to do.
3. Getting my own apartment!  And in general, just being able to make it as a real grown up person.

No specific tagging required, so consider yourself tagged, regardless of who you are!

Disgruntled:

-It's Tuesday, and I'll be seeing Pike later today for Nerd Club.  While I really want to see him, I fear it will be rather awkward.  Even though he doesn't know what happened, he has ways of dragging the truth out of me.
-I really need to do laundry and I probably wont have time to do so tonight.
-I'm disgruntled because I can't have a cat in my apartment.  The landlord's kid is allergic to nearly everything, so I understand, it's just that's the one thing that's really missing from my life right now!
-Men in general and how they are nowhere near as straightforward as they claim.

Giddy:

-Anna is gone today!
-Lacey is up for dancing in early December when she returns from Thanksgiving.  I'm probably really going to need something then to hold me off until I can visit home for Christmas.
-Putting Nanowrimo aside.  Yes, this is actually a good thing.  It's been keeping me from doing other projects I want to get started on.  I'll finish the novel eventually, but at my own pace.
-It's lunchtime!  Yay!
-My Vox Neighborhood is awesome.  Thanks for sticking with me!

When my grandpa died it didn't hit me until a few weeks later.  We all knew he was going to die.  He was in the hospital, unable to breathe on his own, drifting in and out of consciousness.  He had never wanted this, so after his children took him off life support he passed away.  He and I had been close despite how he had battled with Parkinson's most of my life.  I credit him for much of my nerdiness: he was very into computers for a grandparent, had owned an electronics store, and was a ham radio operator.  Because when he died it was expected, I thought I would be fine.  Then a few weeks later it just hit me that I would never see him again, and I stayed up crying for hours.

Looking back I think this demonstrates how my emotions take a while to actually affect me, or perhaps I just manage to hold them off for a certain period until they come rushing in.  I'd decided to love Pike, but somehow I can't simply decide to stop loving him.  I don't know if eventually these feelings will fade, if I will meet someone new, or if I'll try to hold onto these pieces forever.

My apologies for the most recent bout of sappiness.  It's not like me.

I really need to make Lacey take me dancing.

Current Nanowrimo Word Count: 6000-something

Why is it so low after an entire weekend?  Because I started over.  I wanted to write something that was more reflective of how I’m feeling about Pike in hopes to get me through those issues.

I’m really excited about it right now. It’s about two characters (it’s still set in Hometown) that meet and fall crazily in love until they realize that they are really quite horrible together.  It’s written in third person limited and split between the man (Marcus) detailing the events of their relationship and the woman (Astrid) detailing the events following the break-up.

I’m actually loving it quite a bit.  I have the day off tomorrow and hopefully I’ll be able to get quite a bit of writing accomplished.  I may have to use dares and long epigraphs to boost up my word count.  I can always edit those things out later.

I really need to focus on work today to avoid instant messaging Pike saying those six words: “I think I made a mistake.”  Because I don’t think I made a mistake.  I just feel so lonely without him.

Mal:

-I miss my cat.  I wish I could have a kitty in my apartment.
-It's a general boring day at work.  Anna took me around to meet the other offices, but hardly anyone was having any technical problems.  We did run into Corey (the owner of our company) and we had lunch, so that was actually good.
-The temperature is quite cold for October in The City.
-I had a dream where I wanted to get back together with Pike.  Then yesterday he decided to break his sponsor's rule and come over.*  He arrived right after Rowan finished asking me out.  I was a bit on the edge of my seat there.  At one point, when Pike was over, I started rubbing his arm out of habit, and he said, "Cloudy!" and I stopped.  I still feel so comfortable around him I forget that I'm supposed to behave differently--as friends.  That's hard.

Bueno:

-Keith left early today so I get to have the office to myself.  OH!  It turns out Keith is actually dating someone younger than him right now, so no cougars at the moment.  I'm not sure if this is such a great thing, because if he was dating a cougar I'm sure it would provide much more interesting vox fodder.
-Two days of Project Beautify before the date.  Must bleach, work out, and exfoliate like I'm a celebrity.  (I'm not sure if this really goes under bad or good.  Two days is better than one?)
-My dishes are nearly done at this point and I think I might actually have my apartment clean before my mom and her friend show up for the weekend on Friday. 
-I'm really looking forward to having them here.  Her friend is closer to me than my actual aunts.**  My mom is also bringing me some of my things from my parents' house and some groceries and necessities.  I also can't wait for her to see how I'm living like a grown up person in The City!  I've got a job and my own apartment in one of the most important places in the world.  I've made it!

*He brought me stuff I left at his apartment in exchange for supper
.
**I have a lot of aunts and uncles who all have a lot of nieces and nephews.