11 posts tagged “family”

It appears as though I will be making it to Hometown for Christmas after all! Somehow, if all continues to go well. I'll see you all when I return! 

What were your first words? If you have children, what were their first words?

My first word was "kitty cat." Yes, not only was it three syllables long but it's actually two words. I was 8 months old and apparently I was with my mother's friend and I pointed to a picture of a cat and said "ki ki ca" and my mother's friend flipped out and dragged my mom over and then showed me all these other pictures of cats. The way my mom tells it her friend was way more excited about it than she was.

My brother's first word was "grandpa." We were living with my mom's dad when my brother was adopted. It was so cute because my grandpa wasn't keen on the adoption idea but then once my brother actually showed up they were best friends. They'd take naps together. My grandpa died when I was in high school (and so my brother was about 10). It makes me tear up a bit thinking about it.

Last night I had a really strange dream.

I was going on a business trip to England. I was going to go there for three days and I was traveling with Travis, who wasn't living in India anymore. I was really excited about this part.

All sorts of things started getting in the way. My parents were bringing me to the airport, and I was running late and all these obstacles kept popping up. I hadn't packed my clothes, so I was going to pack my giant suitcase but then I realized that was ridiculous for only three days. Pike was out of town so I couldn't borrow one of his little rolling suitcases, so I had to use my backpack. I had magazines in there and there was little room, so I had to take stuff out, and then I realized I had to put all my liquids in a clear plastic bag of a certain size, so I had to find one of those. It was all very traumatic.

Then we had to pick up Xander (yes, from Buffy) and when we got to his place he was sleeping. That's when I woke up.

So I never got to the airport much less England, and I never got to see Travis in my dream. This was disappointing, because I kind of miss him.

Minus:
-Anna blew up at me today. For a complete misunderstanding. Which I of course couldn't explain.
-The New Guy likes to wear social awkwardness on his sleeve.
-I still don't know what happened with Dan on Friday.
-Had to borrow money from my parents again because I have more loan payments due. I hate being near broke all the time! I can't even afford the new Luxe book. Sigh.
-I'm getting to bed too late again.
-It's Wednesday and my apartment is already a mess.
-I have a dentist appointment this month, I don't remember when, and I can't find my dental insurance card and I have no idea how much the copay is. If it's too much I may not be able to buy groceries this month.

Plus:
-

My 2009 To-Do List
When I was in grad school for speech pathology, we had to create goals for our clients and one of the major issues was that they be measurable.  So instead of doing vague things like "get fit" I've tried to make my goals more specific.
1. Start crafting again.
2. Create a binder for recipes.
3. Get a raise, higher paying job, or a job in Hometown.
4. Create a chore schedule.
5. Read 5 books owned but haven't read yet.
6. Learn to create Wordpress themes.
7. Start blogging again.*
8. Write 3 short stories.
9. Create an exercise schedule.
10. Get my World of Warcraft character to level 80.
(optional) Find the love of my life.

Things I Need from Target
1. Another hanging file folder box.
2. Activia yogurt.
3. A small notebook that wont get beat up in my purse.
4, A new purse.
5. Snack mix for work.
6. Calcium supplements.
7. 2 bulletin boards.
8. New Underwear.
9. Screws.

Qualities That My Next Boyfriend Must Have
1. Intelligence.
2. Silliness.
3. Doesn't make mountains out of molehills.
4. Willing to try and get along with my family--no prejudices.
5. Enjoys cuddling, and has a body that can be cuddlied with (ie, isn't malnourished).
6. Taste in things that doesn't clash.  (We don't have to like all the same things, but he can't only like rap music, reality television, and horror films.)
7. Likes staying in sometimes.

What I'm going to do This Weekend
1. Do dishes.
2. Do laundry.
3. Unpack.
4. Finish Breaking Dawn.
5. Continue reading Gravity's Rainbow which I found at my parents' house.
6. Get started on 2009 list.
7. Prepare for next week.
8. Figure out what I'm going to do for my birthday at the end of the week.
9. Maybe see Pike if he's back. Convince him to take me to the Andrew Bird show for my birthday.

Rants
1. I don't want to go back to work tomorrow. 
2. It's so stupid! 
3. Everyone is working on stuff that I'm not responsible for. 
4. I shouldn't have to be there and I hate that I do.

*Not this one.  I'm referring to a blog written under my real name instead of this pseudonym and more about stuff than my personal...issues.

I'll Pass:

-Missing my family and my friends back home and not being in a position to be able to move back, given the complete non-existent job market.
-Being back at work.
-Not having plans for New Year's Eve because all my friends (all being Pike, Addison, Nikki, and Lacey) are out of town for various reasons.  I may end up staying home, reading Eclipse, and drinking a bottle of champagne by myself.*

Eclipse Special Edition (The Twilight Saga)

Stephenie Meyer

-Having read New Moon in one day.  (I'm a really fast reader and I was procrastinating, but that still doesn't mean I like that I did it.)  I didn't enjoy it as much as Twilight.  Too much moping, and the "twists" were completely predictable.
-My apartment is still a huge mess.

Yes, Please:

-Finally saw Wall-E with my brother at the cheapseats.  I love that Hometown still has cheapseats.  (I hate that Hometown's cheapseats are nicer than The City's regular, expensive theaters.)  The film was very cute, and I enjoyed it, but Finding Nemo is still by far my favorite Pixar film.

Wall-E

-Border's loot: I also picked up a calendar at borders of vintage-looking images of people drinking coffee with phrases like "coffee first...then your mundane bullshit!"  It's for work.  I have one of vintage posters for home.  It's really pretty.  I also grabbed the latest issue of Ready Made magazine, and the Procrastinator's SOS 2009 planner:

Procrastinator's SOS Planner: 2009 Desk Calendar

Susan Cohan Hoffman

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I love bookstores!
-The knowledge that 2009 is going to be much better than 2008.  No grad school and instead goals for the future I can actually look forward to!
-It's warm outside.  I don't even need my winter coat!

*This actually sounds quite enjoyable.

One last post before I say goodbye for five days.  I'm giving my dad and brother mixed CDs for Christmas (along with a book for my brother and a bookmark I'm going to* make him, and a felt magnet I'm going to make my dad).  Here are the track listings:

For My Dad:

Gotta Knock a Little Harder - The Seatbelts
Extraordinary Machine - Fiona Apple
Rodeo Town - The Kills
Masterfade - Andrew Bird
Us - Regina Spektor
Homesick - Kings of Convenience
White Lexus - Mike Doughty
Return to Oz - Scissor Sisters
Chicago - Sufjan Stevens
The Bleeding Heart Show - The New Pornographers
Simple Things - Belle and Sebastian
Gracie - Ben Folds

For My Brother:

Video Game Heart - All Girl Summer Fun Band
Twin Cinema - The New Pornographers
The Legionnaire's Lament - The Decemberists
Cherry Blossom Girl - Air
Funny Like the Moon - Bunky
Tropical Ice-Land - The Fiery Furnaces
Ask DNA - The Seatbelts
No Wow - The Kills
Follow - Breaking Benjamin
Take the Fifth - Spoon
Skins - Scissor Sisters
Hear You Me - Jimmy Eat World

*Yes, I said "going to."  I'm planning a near-all-nighter.

Christmas at my grandparents’ house consists of the adult sitting in the living room staring at each other and making small talk.  At least this year no one will ask “how’s school?”  No, wait, they probably will.  And I’ll say, “I dropped out of grad school, but now I’m working in tech support for The Company.”  And they will be impressed, because The Company is very impressive.  I can see their eyes widening now.

Even though my parents were thoughtful enough to inform everyone that Pike and I broke up, I’m sure some people will ask about him.  I’ll say, “We’re not together anymore.”  Or if I’m feeling extra punchy, “We’re not together anymore.  Did anyone bring wine?”

Perhaps some will be ballsy enough to ask if I’m seeing someone new, in which case I have my choice of responses, which an increasing degree of shock value:
1.    Pike and I broke up a few months ago and that’s not long enough to build a relationship worth mentioning.
2.    I have several prospects, actually.
3.    I’m seeing several people, if you know what I mean.
4.    I have a friend with benefits.  Oh, you don’t know what that is?  Allow me to explain…
5.    Didn’t my mom tell you?  I realized that I’m a lesbian.  I’ll be sure to bring my girlfriend next year!

My mother’s side always has a more enjoyable party.  This must be because I am facebook friends with some of my cousins.  Last year they had the party much earlier in December than I could get away from grad school.  This year they are happily having it while I’m in town, and for once I’ll be able to stay for the entire thing.  Getting Pike to go was almost impossible.  I had to beg, bribe, plead and promise to leave early.

This year, I’m not going to have to drag someone into a holiday party they don’t want to attend.  I’ll deal with the relational small talk on my own, and that’s just fine with me.

[Note: I will be in Hometown for the holidays next Wednesday through Sunday.  Way too short for me, but I highly doubt I'll get to post during that time since my parents still only have dial-up.  Oh, and I will post tomorrow about how tonight goes.]

List the three best times/things of the year
1. Quitting grad school and starting my job.  It’s not perfect, but it suits me and I earn money.
2. Finally getting laid again!
3. Starting this blog.  Being able to write openly like this has really helped me out.

List the three worst times/struggles of the year
1. Breaking up with Pike.
2. Deciding to quit graduate school.
3. Figuring out how to deal with Anna.

List three personal traits you've changed throughout the year
1. Becoming in control of my own life.
2. Even though I’ve always been positive, I think I have become even more optimistic.
3. A slight increase of motivation.

List three personal traits you haven't changed throughout the year
1. I’m still self-obsessed.
2. I’m still messy.
3. I’m still rational.

List three people you've met this year
1. Anna
2. Keith
3. Redhead boy

List three people who have made a major impact on your life this year
1. Anna
2. Pike (even ending the relationship made an impact)
3. Travis (the catalyst)

List three people that you had to say goodbye to (even if you didn't know them) this year
1. Everyone from graduate school
2. Travis
3. My family, every time I see them I have to say goodbye again.

List your three greatest accomplishments of the year
1. Getting my job and keeping it for as long as I have.
2. Having the guts to end things when Pike even when I didn’t really want to, because it was the right thing to do.
3. Getting my own apartment!  And in general, just being able to make it as a real grown up person.

No specific tagging required, so consider yourself tagged, regardless of who you are!

When my grandpa died it didn't hit me until a few weeks later.  We all knew he was going to die.  He was in the hospital, unable to breathe on his own, drifting in and out of consciousness.  He had never wanted this, so after his children took him off life support he passed away.  He and I had been close despite how he had battled with Parkinson's most of my life.  I credit him for much of my nerdiness: he was very into computers for a grandparent, had owned an electronics store, and was a ham radio operator.  Because when he died it was expected, I thought I would be fine.  Then a few weeks later it just hit me that I would never see him again, and I stayed up crying for hours.

Looking back I think this demonstrates how my emotions take a while to actually affect me, or perhaps I just manage to hold them off for a certain period until they come rushing in.  I'd decided to love Pike, but somehow I can't simply decide to stop loving him.  I don't know if eventually these feelings will fade, if I will meet someone new, or if I'll try to hold onto these pieces forever.

My apologies for the most recent bout of sappiness.  It's not like me.

I really need to make Lacey take me dancing.